Damage Control
by Strife Knight
Summary: CRACK The journey of Roxas and Axel through a normal school day. How is Sepiroth linked to global warming, and why does Marluxia keep singing Phantom of the Opera songs? Well we'll find out.
1. Before the Bell

A/N: I've never done a story like this…bare with me. It's completely random and has no point, so it's not expected to make sense.

Also, half the credit for this fanfiction goes to Dehoudai, we came up with this together.

Disclaimer: We the undersigned do not own: Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Naruto, Pirates, the earth (yet), pudding, Bill Cosby, Chuck Norris, or a box with an alien head inside in which to call mother. In other words we don't own anything in this chapter. Given most of the things mentioned above are not part of this chapter…but we still don't own them.

Dehodai: this was really just for our amusement, so you're welcome to flame, we don't care.

Strife: But flames make me sad…

Dehodai: shut up.

Strife: Okay then. Enjoy our crack!

**Before the Bell**

The day started like any other school day. Roxas managed to make it out of Axel's screaming metal death trap van without getting smashed. It wasn't that Axel was a bad driver, It was the fact that they drove to school with a group of crazy people and Axel refused to stop yelling at them long enough to watch the road. The one eyed cop that always pulled them over didn't help much either, but luckily he said he would not give the group a ticket if they bought him a donut…well…Axel didn't think it was lucky…but they made it to school unscathed.

"Everyday! Everyday I have to spend money on some creepy cop so he can eat fried dough!" The redhead raved as he kicked the door to said van open. Axel took the time to hold the door open for Roxas, and then slammed the door before the others could get out.

Roxas sighed and began to follow his friend. Smiling brightly at him in an attempt to brighten the mood. "Oh Axel…it doesn't matter that much. We have more money then Bill Cosby, so does it really matter?"

Axel froze in mid-step, taking a moment to think over what his little blonde friend just said. He tapped his forehead with his finger, then snapped and turned back to Roxas, eyes twitching a bit. "Roxas…you mean Bill Gates. Bill Cosby is an old man who wears colorful sweaters and probably touches little boys…like Michael Jackson."

Roxas thought it over, then nodded. Axel smiled and patted him on the head, making another attempt to get in the school when a voice from above stopped him.

"Hey how'd you to get all that money anyway?" Said the voice, and Roxas jumped, then looked to the top of the van.

"Hayner! How long have you been up there?" Roxas asked, noticing the voice did not come from an angel, but from Hayner, who for some reason or another, was on the roof of the van.

Hayner glared and struggled a bit in the ropes. "Since your boyfriend wouldn't let me ride in van so he tied me to the roof." All eyes fell on Axel as Hayner grumbled angrily.

Roxas looked up at Axel, who was whistling casually as he stared at the sky. Noticing the silent stares the pyro coughed, then put the attention back on Roxas. "Ya didn't answer his question Rox…tell 'em."

Roxas looked at the group (though we're not completely sure when they got out of the van) who all nodded together. "Oh yeah!" Roxas grinned, reflecting on the day. "It was all totally random, one day I was just a poor kid…and then one day, BAM! I found a lotto ticket on the side of the road!"

--Flashback—

Roxas walked along the street in tattered clothes, whistling to himself as a small piece of paper blew by. The teen blinked, and held out his hand so the paper blew right into his palm. "Wow! A free lottery ticket! I gotta show Axel!" with that, Roxas walked off.

At this moment an old man with an eye patch walked around the corner. "Where'd my ticket go?!" Xigbar yelled to no one in particular.

--End Flashback—

Roxas looked back to the group, who were all staring with blank expressions. Then he turned to Axel, who was wiping his eye, shaking his head happily. "That story never gets old!"

The group continued to be silent, though they exchanged there looks to Axel. With the silence, Axel again attempted to get into the school, though as soon as he turned around he found himself chest to eye with Sora.

"Hi Axel!" The brunette chimed happily, before he began looking in every possible direction for something or other. "Hey have any of you guys seen Riku? As soon as we got out of the car he was like…GONE!"

This might have been tolerated if it didn't happen EVERY day. It seemed as though all Sora ever did was walk around saying: "hey have you seen Riku?" sadly usually said silver haired teen was usually either just in front of him, or just behind him, yet Sora never seemed to look in the right direction. So to this, the group, minus Roxas who seemed to understand Sora some way or another, replied with a rather loud: "NO!"

"Aww you don't have to be so mean about it…" Sora whined, pouting for a good .6 seconds before he noticed Mr. Sparrow walking for the door. "Hey! Captain Jack have you seen Riku?" He called, running after the history teacher.

"I hope he finds Riku…" Roxas said as he sadly watched Sora go. To this Axel shifted his eyes slowly to the innocent blonde, and hit himself in the head.

"Okay…they're all rotting your brain, it's time to go inside." He told, taking Roxas's hand and dragging him a good four steps before he was…YET again interrupted. This time by a squeaky blonde boy in an orange jumpsuit.

"Hey guys! Have you seen Sasuke or Sora? As soon as I got out of the car they were gone! Believe it!" Uzumaki Naruto, some random really aggravating foreign kid whose lot in life was to constantly test Axel's patience.

Roxas wanted to say something, but as the grip on his hand tightened Roxas knew to be quiet. He stepped back, hiding safely behind the red-head as his eyes twitched, and he pointed a fist to Naruto. "NO! WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM! NOT TODAY, NOY YESTERDAY! AND WE WON'T SEE HIM TOMORROW OR THE NEXT DAY! NOW GO AWAY!"

"You're funny Axel!" Naruto laughed as he too walked off. Axel's eye was twitching to the point it was probably going to fall out. The pyro snarled and rared back, only to be suddenly grabbed around the waist by Roxas.

"Not again!" He yelled, not wanting a repeat of the last time went after one of the other students. The last kid had to join the witness protection program and move to another country.

Somehow, even with all the distractions, Axel and Roxas managed to make it in the school on time. Thought not by much. Soon after they entered the bell rang. Well…it wasn't exactly a bell. Cid, the man who put the wiring in the school, pretty much forgot to add a bell that worked. So the teachers had to improvise.

"Ring! Ring! RING! RING!" Came the voice of Yuffie, aparantly Cid promised her extra credit if she would make bell sounds when it was time to go to class. That way Cid didn't get yelled at for forgetting this important detail.

"Hey Yuffie!" Roxas waved, the hyper active girl waved back, but continued to walk.

"Can't talk Roxas, I'm working. See you in Lockheart's class!" If the obnoxious ringing wasn't enough to pit someone off to what Yuffie was trying to do, the fact that she wore a large sign around her neck saying "the bell" helped too.

"I need sleep…c'mon Roxas lets go to English." Axel declared and began walking down the hall.

"Ms. Lockheart? Didn't Mr. Sepiroth fire her?" Roxas asked, confused by "the bell" and her words.

"He probably did…but she shows up anyway." Axel shrugged as they reached the English room. Axel kicked the door open. Things were only going to get more pointless from here on out.

- End Chapter One- -

Strife: And so ends the prolouge. We hope you liked it, it only gets weirder.

Dehodai: So leave some comments, Just because! And again if you hate it, that's not our problem. So flames are open…we'll probably just laugh and delete them later.

Strife: but flames are mean!

Dehodai: Shut up Strife.

Strife: Okay then…well, until next time, bye!


	2. You're Fired AGAIN!

And we're back! Special thanks to our first reviewer! and yay for Phantom of the Opera! 3

Declaimer: the poems belong to Dehoudai. And if you take them without asking I'll hurt you. Other than that we still don't own anything.

Dehoudai: or do we?

Strife:…no…we don't. And you do not pwn me!

Dehoudai: Shut up Strife.

Strife: I think I misspelled Sephiroth like…seven times. Sorry. Now without further adew…or arguing. Here's chapter two!

- You're Fired!…AGAIN!- -

"You two are .6 seconds late!" Came the yelling of a very annoyed Tifa when Axel and Roxas stepped into her classroom. The two exchanged confused glances, seeing as neither understood how they could be late when Yuffie wasn't there yet. Basically you were late to class if you got there after the "bell".

"You two don't understand how important being on time is do you!" The English teacher scolded, pointing a shameful finger at the two.

"Is there really a time?" Axel asked, deciding if Ms. Lockheart was going to yell at them about something pointless he would be have something to say about it. "I mean…what's time anyway?"

"Are doctors .6 seconds late when they're performing heart surgery?! Are firefighters .6 seconds late when they're stopping a burning building?!" Tifa went on. When she was in one of her ranting moods you really couldn't make her stop.

However, the word 'fire' had Axel going into his own world with a smirk. "We can only hope…" He told, picturing a large flaming building.

As Tifa went on, Axel imagined various things burning, and Roxas stayed behind Axel as a shield from the angry teacher, the principle of the school was making his morning rounds and heard the crazed yelling. Upon opening the door, Sepiroth blinked in confusing, stepping into the classroom.

"Excuse me miss…how did you get in my school and why are you yelling at these two young men?" He asked. Knowing where this was going Axel grinned, nudging Roxas to pay attention.

"I'm Tifa Lockheart! I work here! I've been working for you for five years!" Tifa yelled. Sepiroth never remembered Tifa, though Tifa dealt with it because she secretly loved him. No one was really sure why though…

"You work here? Oh…well you're fired." The silver haired man shrugged and walked away as if nothing happened. There was an awkward silence before Tifa turned and continued to go after Axel and Roxas for being late.

"Are ninja's .6 seconds late when they kill people?!" She went on. only at this moment Naruto, with his blinding orange jumpsuit, stuck his head into the class.

"Yes they are! Hey has anyone here seen Sasuke?" He added.

"I TOLD YOU BEFORE! **NO! **NOW GO AWAY!" Axel snapped, Naruto quickly shutting the door behind himself.

"Okay…lets get off this subject and read our poems from yesterday." Tifa sighed, knowing everyone either did not do the assignment, or wrote something so bad your ears started to bleed.

Axel laughed, walking to his seat, Roxas following, thought slightly confused. Didn't Tifa just get fired?…well she got fired yesterday too, and Axel said that didn't stop her. Wait…she got fired the day before that too…hell she got fired everyday.

It was obvious why Tifa got fired when you noticed that Axel set next to Demyx. Neither had the attention span of a cumquat, and Axel's pyromania was only cancelled out by Demyx's fascination with water. Not a good combo, Axel hated water, and the random bucket Demyx carried around with him was no exception. Not to mention on the other side of Axel was Roxas. If Axel and Demyx weren't talking about something like angry hate sex between Tifa, Sepiroth and Cloud, Axel was talking to Roxas…or hitting on Roxas. In front of Axel was Hayner. Which meant the pyro was in perfect view to glare, or throw things at Hayner as he wished.

"Alright, your homework assignment was to write a poem on something you really like. Who wants to present their poem first?" Tifa asked, eyes searching the room of absolute silence as the students looked at one another for a victim. No one wanted to go, most kids hadn't even written anything. Then the doorknob clicked, and opened.

"Hey have you guys seen Riku?" Came the annoying voice of Sora as his spiky brown hair appeared in the door.

"You're twelve minutes and thirty-six seconds late!" Tifa yelled, dragging Sora into the room. "Now go read your poem for the class!"

"But I have to find Riku!" Sora argued, but Tifa snarled and pointed to the front of the class, Sora whined, but went on. All eyes now feel on the brunette, even Axel and Demyx stopped their conversation of condoms for squirrels to listen.

Sora took the folded poem from his pocket, and hid his face from the audience with the paper. "My poem is called "Riku is missing"." There was a sign from everyone in the audience, Axel laid his head down on the desk and stared at Roxas out of boredom. Pretty people made everything better.

"Riku is missing."

"Those guys are kissing." (Axel made a mental note to hurt Sora later, seeing as he looked at Axel and Roxas when this line was said)

"Riku is missing."

"Kadaj is listing"

"Riku is missing…"

"I am pi-"

"OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH!" Tifa yelled, holding her hands to her ears.

Sora blinked and put his poem down. Axel slowly looked over to Demyx, who looked like he had been shot. That was by far the worst thing they had ever heard, and Demyx was going to do something about it. "Ya know what Sora…" Demyx asked, standing up.

"OBJECTION!" He pointed, then tossed the bucket of water onto Sora, and Axel laughed hysterically. For several long minutes the pyro laughed at everything that had just happened, his head hidden in his desk, until his stomach hurt from laughing so hard.

"You were late too Axel." Tifa pointed out, folding her arms after his episode of hysteria was over.

Axel looked to Roxas, groaned, and stood up. Kicking his desk in he walked to the front of the room. "Does anyone really care what the title of my poem is?" He asked, getting a room of shaking heads as a response. "Well…lets get this over with." The pyro shrugged, smiling at Roxas as he took out the paper.

"The sun does not burn as brightly as I do for you."

"Your eyes burn brighter then the ocean blue."

" If only you would see only me."

"That I would be as happy as I could be."

"The sun does not burn as brightly as your hair glows in the night."

"The way those men look at you make me want to barf."

"You have no common sense."

"I don't know how much is six pence."

"The sun does not burn as brightly as you."

"The sun does not burn as brightly as you."

"When you ask me to do something for you"

"who am I to refuse?"

"Your name is Roxas, that it true."

"And I am Axel only for you."

"Got it Memorized?!"

Never would Axel's love poem leave the room, everyone was shocked he would write something like that, though there was a long and exasperated group "awwwww!"

Axel smiled at Roxas as he walked back to his seat. The blonde boy merely blinked in total confusion. "I don't get it…was that poem about light bulbs or something?" he asked, looking up at the pyro with naïve eyes.

"Yes Roxas…it was about light bulbs." Axel chuckled, patting his boyfriends head as he sat down, Axel accepted that Roxas had no sense, hence the line "You have no common sense." This was followed by another "Aww!" from the students.

"That was a total drag…" Hayner groaned. Getting glared at not only by Axel, but from the whole class. The angsty teen grumbled and looked to the wall. He always felt like he was being glared at, ever since Axel found out Hayner liked Roxas, he swore the pyro would kill him in his sleep. Axel always found ways to inconspicuously hurt Hayner, to the point it became a paranoia. Even when Axel wasn't around he swore he could feel those crazed green eyes glaring at him.

"Roxas…would you like to read yours?" Tifa asked, almost fearful. Some of the kids thought Roxas's poem would be about Axel, the smart ones who got the idea that Roxas wasn't that deep knew better than that.

Roxas grinned as he stood up, he really didn't need his paper because his poem was rather short, and just like Axel; he neglected to say the title of the poem.

"Pudding."

"Brown and chocolaty."

"Tastes way better then it sounds like it does."

"I wish I had some."

"Axel, get me some pudding."

No one laughed because everyone was afraid Axel would hurt them if they made fun of something Roxas wrote. Said pyro clapped, and Roxas happily walked back to his desk, after another pat on Roxas's head, Axel stood and walked for the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Tifa asked, and Axel shrugged, answering as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"To get Roxas pudding."

"SIT BACK DOWN!" She snapped, pointing to his desk.

At this moment Sephiroth was coming back from his rounds around the school, and peered in to see how the class was going. He smiled at the class, then looked at Tifa in confusion. "Didn't I fire you?"

"Yes you did." She nodded, glaring.

"Then why are you still here?" The principle asked, glaring back.

"Because you're still paying me!"

To this Sephiroth just walked away. Several seconds later the door opened again. "Who are you?" Sepiroth asked once again.

"TIFA!" the teacher snapped, Axel and Demyx laughing quietly in the background.

"You're fired." The principle told, waving goodbye to the class as he walked out of the room.

Tifa threw her hands in the air and sat at her desk, looking to her students that where now all staring, she sighed and pointed to the door. "Just go."

- End Chapter - -

Strife: Wow…that pwned!

Dehoudai: Why do we hate Hayner so much?

Strife: 'cause he sounds like Shikimaru.

Dehoudai: he is Shikamaru…

Strife: …lets go with that. Hope you all liked it! Or at least found our poems funny. Please review and leave your thoughts. If you have any questions we can answer them in the next chapters A/N.

Dehoudai: flames welcome, reviews requested.

Strife: Even though flames are mean…

Dehoudai: Shut up Strife.

Strife: Sayanara everyone!


	3. Donut Dodgeball

A/N: we're back

A/N: we're back! Yet again!

A special thanks to Sarie Bear for reviewing, and yes. Roxas's poem totally owned. Who doesn't love pudding?

And an extreme thank you to DearJamie, who has reviewed twice! Sankyuu DJ-chan!

Sorry it took so long to update…school's been a killer. Ironically we got back to this the day Dehoudai hate most!

Dehoudai: Valentines Day... why do we give out candy and flowers to people we love on a day when some guy was beheaded? The world may never know.

Strife Knight: this is true…man I hate this day, but without further adew we give you our fanfiction!

"You guys… know you're not supposed to be here for twenty more minutes right?" Mulan asked, it wasn't every day a group of children showed up so early for gym class. Yet here they all were here, looking as though nothing had happened.

"Well…" Axel told, stepping forward with Roxas beside him. "Sephiroth kept coming in and firing Miss Lockheart…and she got annoyed so she told us to leave." He told, a small-amused smile on his face. Axel enjoyed it when Tifa got mad; all she did was yell at him anyway.

"And then we decided to come here…we don't know why really." Roxas added, making the gym teacher nod. She took a look at the kids, realizing a certain hyper active brunette was gone. This wasn't a big surprise; Sora was always skipping her class to look for that silver-haired kid who was never there.

"So…where is he this time?" Mulan asked as she folded her arms in an irritated manor.

"Well it's a funny story…ya see…" Axel looked back and forth, scratching his head as he spoke.

--Flashback to Ten Minutes Previous--

Demyx, Axel, Roxas and Sora where walking to Gym class in small strides, trying to take as much time as possible to reach there next class. Axel was taking the time to observe the floor tiles, when he noticed Sora's shoelace was undone.

"Hey Sora, your shoes untied." He told plainly, it was then that Sora turned to him and pointed, rather excited for one reason or another.

"YOU MEAN THE DONUT MAN TOOK RIKU! That's it Axel!" and with that, Sora ran down the hall to the outside, leaving the other three in silence, just staring.

"We didn't see anything…" Axel decided, dragging the other two to class.

--End Flashback--

"For some reason…I believe that…" Mulan decided, it wasn't the first time they had told her an extremely pointless story about Sora going to look for Riku.

What do you say when a kid cuts school to interrogate a donut salesmen? Well no one was really sure, so there was a moment of awkward silence. During this awkward silence Hayner couldn't help but realize the 'face' on Demyx's bucket of water, though to everyone else it was just a few dents, Hayner's paranoia that he was constantly being glared at made it look like a face, a glaring face. So to make it stop, he tried to knock the bucket over using 'the force'.

Axel observed this, and realized it was the gayest thing he had ever seen, so he kicked the bucket over with his foot, then looked back at Mulan like nothing had happened. "Whoops." Was all he said, turning around and glaring at Hayner for being an idiot.

As if things could make less since, apparently water reminded Mulan and Shang think of snow, which brought them back to the battle against the Huns. Mulan jumped back, and Shang pointed to the door, while glaring. "Alright men, move out! The Huns are approaching!"

As the class filed out of the room, knowing this was a perfect normal gym class, Roxas turned to Axel. "Who are the Huns?"

"I dunno…maybe we'll find out in History…" Axel told, though odds where against it. They didn't really learn anything in history except how there teacher apparently took over the world a few thousand years back, and then lost it so he had to become a school teacher… or something like that. Axel usually fell asleep in that class.

Right as the door to the outside clicked shut, the door to the gym opened to reveal none other than Riku and Sasuke. The silver haired boy looked around the blank room, sighing deeply as Sasuke glared at him. "We actually decide to go to class…and no ones here…what do we do now?"

Riku thought it over, and scratched the back of his head. "A new wal-mart just opened down the street. Wanna go buy some cookies?" He offered.

"Yeah why not?" Sasuke shrugged, and they walked back out the door.

We now join the group outside. Shang was pulling out several rubbery red balls from the trunk of his car. "Okay you slackers. Today we're going to play dodge ball." No one knew how throwing red balls at each other was going to help them fight off the Huns, though they still didn't know who the Huns where, so it was okay.

"So this is how it's done. You throw the ball like this." Shang told, heaving a ball to Hayner's face, making a direct hit. Hayner fell to the ground, a large red mark covering his face.

"I think I like this game." Axel grinned, catching a ball that was thrown to him. A fairly innocent game of doge ball commenced, however Axel convinced everyone on the other team they got bonus points for making Hayner fall, so it was more like man slaughter.

Now for those of you wondering what happened to Sora, he did indeed make it to the donut shop, however he ran into a small problem.

Sora knew the donut shop was to far away to run to, so once he got to the parking lot, he spotted Xigbar's moped. Xigbar couldn't afford a car because he spent all of his money on lottery tickets and pirate merchandise. Since the day Roxas picked up his winning lotto ticket, Xigbar basically walked through life in a bitter haze. He left the key in said moped because he claimed "so what if they take it? Nothing else is going right in my life." So Sora basically stole the moped and drove down to the donut shop.

-- At the Donut Shop--

"Ya know…donuts taste better when you make rich teenagers pay for them." The one eyed policeman who pulled Axel over on the way to school told the donut salesmen. It was then the little bell on top of the door began to jingle. In a quick flash a small brunette boy was leaning over the counter, yelling at said salesmen.

"Where is Riku!? I know you have him!" Sora told, grabbing the man by the shirt and shaking him.

"K-Kakashi! Get him off me!" The donut man yelled, Kakashi looked down at his donut, then down to Sora. This continued a few times before he finally decided to set his donut down to pull Sora off him.

"Now now, shouldn't you be at school young man?" Kakashi asked, his one eye blinking.

"How can I learn when Riku might be fighting the Hun's alone?!" Sora waved his hands dramatically. Somehow Sora knew who the Huns where, even though no one else did. Odd since he never came to class.

"Damn, he's just like that little blonde spazz that was yelling at the manager of K-mart earlier…okay kid. You can look for your friend, but you have to leave." Kakashi dragged Sora outside, but before he could put Sora back on the moped, he noticed something very similar about it.

--Flashback--

It was just a usual day. Kakashi was making his normal rounds around town, eating a donut he had taken from some spiky haired kids car when he pulled him over for speeding. As he drove he noticed a moped by a fire hydrant outside the Dollar General. No one could possibly spent more than ten minutes inside Dollar General, so he stayed there to wait for the owner. Soon a man walked out. A very odd looking man with an eye patch.

"What are you doing here sir?" Kakashi asked, Xigbar glaring at him, and pointing a squirt gun at his head.

"It's the only thing I can afford since that little punk stole my-"

"I mean why are you parked by this hydrant." Kakashi corrected, taking a bite out of the donut.

"That's no hydrant, that's me anchor." Xigbar informed.

"Uh-huh…" Kakashi nodded, mentally kicking himself for finding yet another nutcase. "We'll I'm going to have to write you a ticket for parking by this…anchor." Kakashi told, getting the paper out.

Now, if you had the perfect life, only to lose it all because a poor blonde kid took your ticket, you would be bitter against tickets too. Xigbar glared through his eye patch, jumping on the moped and driving off. Running over Kakashi's foot.

"DAMN YOU!" Kakashi yelled, throwing the other half of his donut at the moped, the chocolate frosting staining the back of the seat. As Xigbar drove away, Kakashi couldn't help but notice the stain looked a lot like the famous pop star, RedXlll.

--End Flashback--

That was the same RedX stain. Which could only mean the spazzy kid stole the moped from Xigbar. "Okay kid, back to class with you." Kakashi dragged Sora, and the moped back to the high school.

--The School--

"Alright kid, where's your class?" Kakashi asked, Sora pointed to the parking lot, where by this time where all on one side, heaving dodge balls at Hayner. Kakashi sighed and dragged Sora back. He went to talk to Mulan about how he had found Sora, and how he attacked the donut man. Mulan didn't really seem to surprised.

After a few minutes of talking it over, Kakashi went back to his cop car, and his donut. It was at this time Demyx threw a ball into the air to hit Hayner. It unfortunately, however, bounced off of Tifa's car, flew into the air, hit a duck, and bounced onto Kakashi's donut, which sprayed grape jelly all over him.

"Hey! Now I'm gonna have to get that weird red-head to- YOU!" Kakashi pointed to Axel, who dropped his ball and yelled back to Kakashi.

"What did I do?!"

"You hit my donut!"

"No I didn't, the duck did!"

"You're buying me one anyway." And with that, Axel and Roxas where dragged back to the donut shop, Mulan didn't even try to get her students back, because if she turned away to follow Kakashi, Sora would vanish again.

-- The Donut Shop (Again)--

Axel stayed in the corner, glaring at Kakashi for making him buy him two donuts in one day, and Roxas was talking to him about the many types of Donuts, when suddenly came the "Ring-Ring!" of the "bell" more commonly known as Yuffie. She was walking down the street, wearing her "bell" outfit. How she got out of class, and found them, no one really wanted to ask.

"How did she…?" Axel started to ask, Roxas just watched with that usual happy smile on his face.

"C'mon Axel, it's time for Class." Roxas smiled and pulled him along.

"Man…I hate Hook." Axel grumbled, grabbing onto the door. "His rooms completely surrounded by water!" He continued to argue, Roxas finally pried him off the door, and they continued back to class.

--End Chapter--

Strife: That took awhile…but we finally got it up! Sorry for the wait everyone…hope you liked it!

Dehoudai: Yay for donuts!

Strife: Woot! Now that's its summer, we can get these up a lot faster, sorry again for the wait everyone, but we'll make it up to you. Dehoudai is going to write a side story about Xigbar's life before he met Roxas. It shall be wonderful.

Thanks again for reading. Reviews welcome as always, bye now!


	4. Bonus Chapter: Xigbra

Strife: Here's the Bonus chapter we promised

Strife: Here's the Bonus chapter we promised!

Dehoudai: Xigbar is pwnage no matter how weird he may seem D

Strife: …if you say so. He freaks me out. Him and his mop…

Dehoudai: You obviously don't understand the epicness!

Strife: riiiiight…scary pirate man…anywhooo…this mini-chapter is brought to you buy Dehoudai! Hope you like it!

--Xigbar: A True Story of Epic Failure--

It happened sixty-seven years ago, okay, that's an exaggeration, it was really only about a month and a half ago. When my life changed forever.

I was once known by the name of Xigbra, everyone calls me Xigbar now, but those two switched letters meant something totally different. (I always wondered why no one I knew realized it was me, but now I look in the mirror, and say Damn, no wonder)I was a model, I know, it totally doesn't seem like that could be possible when you look at me now, but I used to be Hot. I was the cover of every magazine, everyone loved me and I had both my eyes, and no stupid sideburns, and then I met… _him_.

I was minding my own business, then this little blond boy in raggedy clothing stood in front of me, smiled and say hi. At the time I didn't notice the crazy red head stalking him down the streets, which is odd, because everyone else did. I decided to ignore him, because after saying hi I knew he was going to ask for my money, and I was too beautiful to give money to poor blond boys with their creepy red headed stalkers.

I kept walking to my beautiful motorcycle, which was totally not a moped, it was red and shiny, and pretty, and did I mention shiny? Anyways, I sit down and check the pockets of my amazing leather coat for my keys, when I notice my lotto ticket is gone. I sigh in disbelief, but I had doubted I was going to win anyways, and even when I heard someone say, "Hey look a lotto ticket!" I didn't bother to do anything about it, now I know I should have because that little orphan boy is now a billionaire.

Well, I should have run back, pounced the boy to the floor and ripped the lotto ticket out of his hands like a maniac, because three seconds after I lost my lotto ticket, my shiny motorcycle was impounded by the cops, I got sued by my ex for everything I owned, which I lost that battle, and the entire thing was about me not making her a sandwich. We had only dated for three days. Then when my contractors found out I wasn't rich, they also decided that the new "in" was adorable little blond kids with odd redheaded stalkers. So I was fired, and sadly was not allowed to "pull a Tifa".

Poor, cold, hungry, and no longer beautiful, seeing as somehow I had grown these crazy ass sideburns, I decided to take a job as a substitute culinary arts teacher. Not only did I run into the blond kid who's name was Roxas, and his creepy stalker, Axel, who was no longer his stalker but his boyfriend. (I didn't even want to know how that worked) I also lost my eye to a freak pudding accident. I blame Leon for this incident, the pudding so wouldn't have exploded if he hadn't started talking to me, and I had gone on a rant about how beautiful I used to be, where all the girls in the class screamed eww. What a sad day it is when freak accident pudding drips into your ear, turning you into a crazed pirate on a moped. Now my best friend is the mop from the Mr Clean commercial.

when there is one, and my squirt gun. Argh, ye maties, stop peeing on my anchor!

--End Chapter—

Strife: well that's what you get for having a fire hydrant for an anchor…

Dehoudai: Shut up Strife.

Strife: ha ha… well as always, reviews requested. This personally amused me to death, good job Dai-can!


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